Damaged Existence
by theblackspot
Summary: The war is over and Snape has been imprisoned in Azkaban for some time. When he has to share his cell with a new prisoner… Rated for violence and adult content
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: If JKR could possibly publish more often and let the rest of us Muggles have her background notes, we wouldn't have to stoop to such levels of desperate imaginations.

**DAMAGED EXISTENCE**

CHAPTER ONE

The cell was like an oven. There was no breeze to alleviate the heat. A lone, gaunt figure sat on a thin mattress in a corner, away from the sunlight that blazed through the small opening high in the wall. His knees were bent, so his chin could rest on them. Despite the heat, he shivered in pain.

In a corner on the other side of the cell, was a small stone basin containing a bowl. A single tap, protruding from the wall above, slowly and continually dripped drops of water. As if hypnotised, he watched each drop form before it fell. He dragged his gaze away and looked at the latrine in the opposite corner. The seat was also made of stone. It had a small hole carved out, which revealed a bottomless pit. No paper was provided.

Azkaban was not a pleasant place to be. It was not supposed to be. The Dementors were long gone. A cruel tribe, the Ghendis, had replaced them. They delighted in making the inhabitants miserable. There was no prisoners' 'committee'. The Ministry of Magic turned a blind eye, content in the thought that no Death Eater could ever escape. Unwarranted punishments were also inflicted on the inmates in the name of entertainment. The Cruciatus curse, although illegal, was a firm favourite of the Ghendis for those prisoners whose only crime was being in the wrong place at the wrong time when the guards came looking for entertainment.

It had been a year since Voldemort had been defeated. The cells were now full with Death Eaters. There were no trials. The verdicts had already been decided and no mercy was shown. Life, with no parole, was the sentence handed down to each and every one who had the Dark Mark upon them.

Food was meagre. Breakfast consisted of a thin porridge. Lunch not much better, being a weak stew of indeterminate origin served with hard bread. Supper was the same. There was no variation. Every day brought the same tasteless pap delivered through a hatch.

All the cells were occupied by more than one prisoner: except one.

Severus Snape was still suffering after being 'treated' to the Cruciatus curse the day before. The Ghendis had appeared en masse for their sport, laughing while he screamed. He did not put up a fight, knowing they would lose interest. Being imprisoned alone in this cell was not his choice. He knew why he was kept segregated. His ambiguous life as a so-called spy made his gaolers unsure. Murder fortunately, unlike suicide, was not looked upon favourably at Azkaban and would bring the Ministry's attention on them.

There was a commotion outside of his cell. Guards were yelling to one another. The gaps in the cell door were so small that Snape could only make out the odd snatch.

"She's dead." One voice.

"Put her with that one. We can always blame him." Another voice.

The bolts were pulled back and a body was thrown into Snape's cell, followed swiftly by a mattress. The door was shut and the bolts shot home. He could hear the voices for a short time, then they faded. The sound of another door slamming shut brought silence.

The body did not move. Snape remained in his corner. Five, ten, twenty minutes passed. The body still did not move. Was she dead – they did say 'her'? Still he did not move. Lunch came and went. Snape remained stationary. When supper arrived, he ate it, his eyes never leaving the stationary figure.

During the night he approached the mound and prodded it with his toe. It rolled over without a murmur. He bent down and detected that it was still breathing. Not dead - yet. He placed the second mattress on top of his. Dragging the figure onto it and positioning himself in the corner, he draped her over his legs. She still emitted some warmth. It was enough to help counter the freezing night. He brought her further up and hugged the non-moving body to his, absorbing the warmth her body radiated. Snape slept.

Snape woke to see the first feeble beams of the day struggle through the tiny opening in the wall. He moved his legs. They were numb with the weight pressing down on them. He eased himself out, stood up and stretched every muscle. Then he turned his attention back to the motionless bulk on his mattress.

Her dark hair was greasy and matted with blood where hair met forehead. Through the morass, pale, glassy skin could be seen. Delicate arched eyebrows topped her closed eyes. Her nose was long and straight and her lips full. She looked peaceful. The robe she was wearing was of the finest velvet but it was dirty and ripped down the front, exposing the flesh beneath.

Breakfast arrived and he ate it without taking his eyes off the recumbent figure beside him. When he finished, he returned the bowl to the hatch. Then, he thought about what he should do next.

Snape held her wrist to feel for her pulse. It was faint but discernable. He did not think she would die just yet. Using the bowl from the basin, he fetched water. Ripping a section from the bottom of her under dress, he proceeded to wash her face and clean the blood from her hair the best he could. Then he tied her hair back, away from her face. After rinsing the bowl, Snape returned to look at the prone figure. He stood there considering his subsequent move.

His mind made up, he quickly stripped her and took the clothes to the basin. He rinsed them, rotating the robe, as it was too large for the basin. Her under dress was little more than a rag. Snape thought it might come in use and washed it along with the section he had removed earlier. Her delicate satin underwear, slightly torn, was also removed and washed. After each piece was washed, he laid it out on the floor to dry in the heat.

Another thought occurred to him. He manhandled her over to the latrine and placed her onto the seat, propping her up against the wall. He would give her an hour there and prayed that would be sufficient.

Beads of sweat appeared on his brow. Quickly he rinsed himself down. Being dressed only in underpants, it did not take long. The rest of his clothes were folded neatly and placed by the mattress, ready to be worn when required. He turned her clothes over to dry the other side before returning to observe his cellmate.

Food. She would need food. Lunch would soon be delivered. The thorny problem of getting it down her throat occupied his mind. He quickly checked her and was satisfied that he was indeed fortunate - she had opened her bowels. Fetching the bowl filled with water, he cleaned her using one of the rags. The bowl and rag were rinsed and set to dry.

After he returned her to the mattress and placed her sitting up, he set about re-garbing her. Practicalities dictated that he only placed his robe around her shoulders. He carefully arranged the folds to cover the majority of her body, noting her full breasts, thickened waist and slightly bloated stomach. Not the most attractive figure, he thought.

Lunch arrived. There was not much more food than he usually received. If they considered her dead, they would not waste any. This, Snape thought, needed to be addressed. He would do it later. Using the spoon, he tipped a small amount of stew into her mouth. He clamped her mouth shut and tipped her jaw up. She gagged and snorted. Most of what went in came out. Not wanting to waste the meagre portion allowed, he tried a different tack. He fed himself a spoonful, carefully chewed without swallowing, and spat the masticated scrap back into the spoon. Bringing the spoon back up, he managed, this time, to get her to consume most of it.

The meal progressed very slowly. Snape had a mouthful and then fed his comatose patient one. This continued until every last drop was eaten. Snape understood that if rations were not increased, the both of them would not survive very long. He was already much thinner than when he first arrived.

He placed the bowl and spoon in the hatch, but faced the handle in a different position than was his usual custom. He hoped this would alert them to the fact that more food was required.

It was inopportune that the bowl used to wash her, was also required to be used as a drinking vessel, but he could not place her head beneath the tap. When Snape was satisfied that she had consumed sufficient water, he again positioned her on the latrine. Two hours elapsed without the woman passing anything. Snape lifted her to standing position and was rewarded with a steady trickle onto his foot. Cursing, he sat her back down, mopped up the resultant puddle, and washed her and himself down.

Legilimency. He would have to use it. Knowing that discovery would result in severe punishment, he would have to be very careful. Gingerly, he felt around her mind, just the part that controlled her reflexes. When he was confident there would be no repetition, he moved her back to the mattress.

Her robe was now dry and he exchanged it for his. The food that was dribbled down the front he scrubbed off with a minimum of water. He set it down on the floor to dry. The temperature was already beginning to fall and Snape was worried it would not dry in time for night. Her under dress had been torn into squares. They joined the meagre pile of rags he had for cleaning.

Supper arrived. There was more food and two spoons. Snape draped a section of her under dress as a bib under her chin and proceeded to feed them both. The process progressed a lot quicker this time.

The cell was becoming dark. He washed himself with alacrity, retrieved his robe and settled down, snuggling up to the quiet form.

The following days saw Snape establish a routine of feeding, cleaning and taking his charge to the latrine regularly. He was not always successful, which resulted in more washing than he would have liked. A bit of colour had returned to her face, lessening the deathly pallor she had on arrival. There was still no sign of her coming out of her state. It was beginning to trouble Snape. Content to be occupied during the daylight hours, he thought that if the situation did not change soon, he would have to reassess his position on taking care of her. His strength was still reasonable, but if he were to be attacked again…

Every evening as they settled down, he explored her mind. Childhood memories were the most easily accessed. It was only when Snape tried to gain entry to more recent events that he met resistance. These parts were tender, and probing evoked a piercing scream inside her head that made Snape rapidly withdraw.

Piecing the bits together that he could access, Snape began to form a picture of her life. Living in a remote area, she was home tutored by a succession of visiting teachers. She did not appear to have any friends. Her mother left her alone on the whole and her father only appeared briefly, as he was away on business for long periods.

Leonie. He had a name for her at long last. As a teenager, all individuality had been beaten out of her until she conformed to behaviour acceptable to her parents. There was talk about arranging a marriage but Snape could not find if it had happened. It was from about this period on that he had problems. By his calculations, he reckoned the inaccessible parts started three years ago.

He also wondered about her Dark Mark. She did not seem the type to become a Death Eater. There was no real hatred in her childhood for anything, the reverse in fact. She was courteous, even friendly to the Muggles she met. Escaping from her garden, she played with a few of the Muggle children, those who would let her join in. When discovered, she was always severely punished, but remained unrepentant. He knew about a few children whose parents had forced them to join. They did not survive very long. Reluctant to do Voldemort's bidding, they were soon dispensed with.

About three weeks later, during the night, she moaned. Her hands clutched her stomach and her whole body started shaking. Her body curled and uncurled. The moans became longer. It went on for hours. Snape could do nothing more than hold her and wipe the sweat from her brow. At first light he checked her over and was dismayed to find globules between her legs, looking like raw liver, and streaked with blood.

He brought the bowl over and scooped as much as he could into it. It rapidly filled to the rim. After rinsing the bowl and cleaning her up quickly, he sat and waited. It would be a long day or possibly more. When a miscarriage came out in small chunks, he knew it would not be over swiftly.

He had seen this before. After some of the raids of the Death Eaters, if it was discovered that the women kept for 'pleasure' were pregnant, the torture on them increased until their body could take no more and they gave up trying to hold onto their load. Often, the unborn child was left to rot inside the wretched women and infection would set in. The Death Eaters enjoyed, with malicious pleasure, watching them painfully lose the battle for life.

Breakfast arrived. Snape knew it was important that she keep her strength up and fed her the lion's share. There would be no help from the gaolers.

He propped her on the latrine. Each time she expelled more he rinsed her down, pouring water inside of her to remove the worst. Snape had left her naked, as he needed to keep her cool. He dribbled water down her back and dabbed her front with a damp rag. Lunch was even eaten with her seated there.

Snape scrubbed the mattress down, dried the damp one and swapped the position of each over the other. Mindful of what the night could bring, he picked at one corner of the stained one, bit through the ticking stitches and removed some of the stuffing. He tore up his shirt to make a number of pads by folding the material over a handful of wadding. By mid-afternoon the main discharges had ceased. Leonie had stopped moaning. Snape returned her to the mattress and carefully placed a pad between her legs. He had not seen how far advanced she had been as the main discharges were lost in the chasm of the latrine.

Inspection the next morning confirmed only a small amount of blood. He rinsed each component of the pads and set them to dry. She would need them again, as she would start menstruating soon. The bleeding carried on intermittently for several days, before trailing off and stopping.

There was no apparent infection and life returned to its previous existence.

Snape set himself the task to try to keep her muscle tone up. If Leonie ever woke, she must be able to walk and fend for herself. Everyday he lifted her up and 'walked' her around the small cell. Each time he placed more of her weight onto her feet and although she was not fully conscious, he could feel an improvement. Her legs started to move on their on own accord.

Her arms were also stretched and massaged. He uncurled her fingers and placed each hand underneath her for a short time, so they would remain flat and stretched. Her figure had shrunk back down, but he was too exhausted to appreciate it.

It unnerved him when she opened her eyes. They looked blankly into the distance, and never acknowledged his presence. Her eyes were of an indeterminate blue grey. Snape would sometimes stare into them for long periods, wanting to reach those parts of her mind that were too painful for her to remember.

The day she walked five steps without too much prompting was followed by the night she woke up.

A/N: I would like to thank my beta sheri164. The help and advice she has given me has been fantastic.


	2. Chapter 2

With Leonie awake, Snape tries to find out a bit more about his fellow prisoner.

Disclaimer: If JKR could possibly publish more often and let the rest of us Muggles have her background notes, we wouldn't have to stoop to such levels of desperate imaginations.

DAMAGED EXISTENCE

CHAPTER TWO

Snape, as was his habit, had her curled up, naked, in front of him. His arms kept her close. She turned and nestled her head on his chest. Snape stiffened.

She opened her eyes and looked up at him expressionlessly. He released his hold on her and sat up. Her eyes widened at the sight of him with his bare torso. She tried to move but failed.

"It's all right," he said softly. The first rays of light were entering the cell. He stood up and put his robe on, fastened it securely and went to the basin to wash his face. Turning back to her he stated, "You have been here for about two months. I have been looking after you." Snape approached the mattress and could see she was trembling, her face paler than usual. "Leonie, you have been comatose for the entire time." He spoke slowly and gently. "I have had to feed and clean you. There is no need to be afraid."

She had managed to back herself into the corner and started to rock. Her mouth opened and closed as if she was trying to say something. Her eyes darted around the small room, looking for an escape route.

Snape knelt in front of her and grabbed her shoulders and gently shook them. "Leonie," he said, an urgent note had entered his voice, "look at me." When her eyes reluctantly met his, he continued, "I have not touched you other than to feed and clean you. It is not surprising that you are frightened. Waking up next to a strange man and being in a state of undress, but you must trust me." He released his grip, sat down at the furthest end of the mattress and leant back.

She hissed. Her whole body shrank from his touch. A look of hatred blazed from her eyes. Her hands clutched each other, and she started to rub her palms together. A strangled scream emitted from her mouth, and globules of saliva dribbled down her chin.

Momentarily, Snape looked nonplussed. He had not expected the wild animal beside him. Standing up, he quickly lifted her into his arms and had to contend with her struggling her feeble best before having to concede to his superior strength. The expression of surprise on her face, when he placed her on the latrine, almost made him smile.

Washing her down afterwards was not easy as she squirmed and tried to kick out at him. Upon completion, she seemed to calm down a bit. Snape lifted her with less of a struggle and returned her to the mattress. He noticed the tears in her eyes and decided it was best to ignore them.

Breakfast arrived. He brought the bowl and spoons over and sat directly in front of her. The spoon was brought up to her tightly closed lips. When she moved her head away, Snape ate it. He offered her the other spoon, but she was unable to grasp it properly. Again he brought the spoon up and again she turned her head, refusing the food. It was only when over half the contents had disappeared, did Snape manage to get her to reluctantly accept a spoonful. Once started, he quickly fed her the rest of the porridge.

"Good girl," said Snape as she swallowed the last mouthful. Putting the bowl back into the hatch, he returned to his previous position. The hate in her eyes was tempered with fear, he saw as he sat back down. "Leonie, I will not hurt you. I know you do not wish me to touch you, but it cannot be avoided." She turned her head as he continued, "When you can do things for yourself, I will gladly cede them to you. To that end, you need to exercise to regain your strength. I will now dress you in your underwear." He reached past her and picked up the silky scraps. "The heat during the day is such that you will not want to wear much more. Do you want me to dress you?"

Although her whole body trembled in fear, she nodded. Quickly her arms were threaded through the straps of her bra, the back fastened and her breasts adjusted in the cups to fit. The pants had each foot placed through them and dragged up past her knees. She was lifted onto her knees and clasped to Snape's chest as he pulled them up to the correct position. Then she was set back down. Her breathing was ragged and it was several minutes before it returned to normal.

"There, that wasn't too bad," said Snape, "was it?" talking to her as if she was a small child. Continuing in more of a monotone he said, "Please remember, that I had no choice over you being placed here with me. There is no privacy and if we want to remain healthy, we have to stay reasonably clean. Dignity has no place here." He took his robe off as the temperature had already risen.

He could see she was tired. "You need to sleep now, after lunch we start the exercises." Her legs were pulled until her body was in a horizontal position. He placed his robe over her, as it was lighter than hers.

Clutching the robe tightly, her eyes watched him as he went to the basin and proceeded to strip off his trousers and pants. She screwed her eyes shut and tensed. After, what appeared to be ages, she opened them again, to see him washing the clothes he had removed. She relaxed slightly and drifted off to sleep.

"Leonie, Leonie, wake up." Snape shook her. She had been screaming and was thrashing about in her sleep. "You've been having a nightmare." As her eyes opened, he continued, "You are safe now." He observed her gaze as it travelled down his body and stopped at the untidy loincloth he was wearing. "Please excuse my sartorial elegance, I thought it would be less alarming for you." Snape lifted her up and carried her over to the latrine. "Stand up." He pulled her pants down and set her on the seat. "Lunch will be along shortly."

She watched as he returned with the washbowl and rag. Tensing as he cleaned her, she noted his indifference to her body and slightly relaxed her muscles.

After standing her back up and pulling her pants up, Snape said, "Come on, try to walk a few steps. I know you can." He stepped back and held his arms out just out of her reach. "Walk," he commanded.

Leonie put one hand to the wall, shuffled her legs a few times, and found herself nearer the mattress. "Again," barked Snape and she lurched forward again a couple of steps before her knees gave way. He caught her, picked her up and deposited her back on the mattress.

Lunch had arrived. The meal was eaten in complete silence. After Snape had place the bowl back in the hatch he wrapped his robe into a small bundle and said, "Put your arms out and try to lift this up and down. If you want to be able to feed yourself, your arms will need strengthening." He watched as she lifted the bundle to shoulder height and down again. The second time was more of an effort. The third, Leonie made an extreme attempt, every sinew in her arms straining. "That's enough. More later." He removed the bundle from her arms and placed it next to her and sat down on the other side.

"Are you going to talk or is suffering in silence your usual way of coping?" Snape asked.

"The…the usual way," she whispered. "I don't know you, so why should I talk to you?" Leonie averted her eyes and looked at the floor as it were an object of great interest.

"It's made of stone actually," Snape said in an amused voice. "I am Severus Snape." The look on her face made him continue, "Ah! I see you have heard of me then?" She nodded and stared at him as he carried on, "Much of what has been reported about me was greatly exaggerated. Flattering of course, as to the extent of my powers and influence."

"I…I…" Leonie stuttered. She tried again, "I'm sorry…"

"Don't be." Snape cut her short. "I know you have had a horrendous time the last few years. The exact details elude me. Just rest, we'll talk later." He knew it was too early to press her about the details of her life. That would come eventually. First she had to learn to trust him.

After a short while, Snape rose and retrieved his now dry trousers and pants. "Excuse me while I change into less ridiculous clothes." He turned his back, removed the loincloth and was quickly dressed. The loincloth made from remnants of his shirt was washed and set out to dry.

Returning, he picked up the bundle and said, "Come on, more exercise."

Leonie balanced the bundle on her arms and started lifting it up and down. This time she managed six repetitions before the strain was too much.

"Better," remarked Snape. "It should not take too long for your strength to return at this rate." Stretching his arms out and clenching and unclenching his hands he said, "Copy my actions. Place your arms on your knees and make a fist."

She tried to copy him and managed a few small fists. The effort made her tired very quickly.

"Enough." Seeing she was hot, with beads of perspiration on her brow, Snape went to fetch the bowl, filled it with water and made her drink most of it. "It's going to take some time. Relax and try again when you are ready." He wiped her brow and shoulders with the last few drops.

"Why are you helping me?" enquired Leonie. "You're not obliged to." Her eyes filled with tears. "I'm sorry…," she gulped. "I…I…" She then broke down. Great big, gasping sobs that racked her entire body. Snape waited until they began to subside, before handing a rag over to her. Her face was red and blotchy, and the skin around her eyes was puffy. She blew her nose and wiped her eyes. With as much dignity that she could, Leonie said, "I'll start again. I'm sorry that I have been so much trouble. It's just that, for such a long time no one has been kind to me." Her voice sounded very small and frightened. The tears were forming again.

"It has been no trouble. It has kept me occupied." Keeping his voice to a monotone, he continued, "And the nights are very cold here. Two bodies sleeping together, keep the warmth in." A wry smile appeared. "I'm afraid you will have to get used to that."

She watched as he rinsed the bowl and rag and set them to dry. Looking down at her stomach, she frowned. "Did I lose it? The baby, has it gone?"

"Yes," came the terse reply. Snape hoped she wouldn't be too upset. "About a month ago."

"Good. I'm glad." The words were spoken emphatically.

He was shocked. Looking down at her, he could see the hate blazing from her eyes. "Why, was it forced on you?"

"Yes, you could say that," she said. Leonie covered her face with her hands and groaned.

Snape, who had kept his distance until then, bundled her into his arms and held her tight. "It's all right. You can tell me later." He gently rocked her. "It's been a long day for you. Maybe I've pushed you too hard." He felt her struggle before giving up, the tension in her body remained for some time.

They sat there with Snape holding Leonie his lap, his arms wrapped around her, until supper arrived. He gently sat her back down upon the mattress, fetched the bowl and fed her. Toileting and washing was quickly taken care of and they settled down to sleep.

He curled her up facing the wall and lay down next to her. Both robes were used as blankets. His arm went around her waist as he snuggled up. "I'm sorry," he said as he felt her stiffening, "but the closer we are, the warmer we stay." He felt her relax slightly. "Sleep." Snape shut his eyes and quickly drifted off.

Leonie took longer. It was strange sleeping with a man who only wanted her for her body heat. She was tired, and it was not long before she too succumbed.

A/N: My beta sheri164 has been invaluable for improving my writing.


	3. Chapter 3

A big shock is in store for Snape as Leonie, finally tells him about her past.

Disclaimer: If JKR could possibly publish more often and let the rest of us Muggles have her background notes, we wouldn't have to stoop to such levels of desperate imaginations.

**DAMAGED EXISTENCE**

CHAPTER THREE

The days were taken up with exercise interspersed with feeding, cleaning and washing. Leonie was fascinated with the economy of movement that Snape demonstrated in doing everything. He washed everything quickly, there was no soap, but he would scrub at a spot until it disappeared. He told her the reason why he washed so often, was to stop dirt building up to the point where he couldn't remove it. When he cleaned her, he never touched her more than was necessary. His fingers never lingered, nor took advantage of her weakened state.

The nights were the strangest revelation to her. Being held as if she were a blanket and no more was, she thought, very impersonal. When she felt him turn over occasionally to relieve himself during the night, she remained as still as she could, barely breathing. Afterwards, he took his time to turn back and curl up against her once more. She did not hold it against him. Men had their urges and she was grateful he didn't ask for more. The nightmares woke her up frequently, and she learned to expect him to hold her tightly until her tremors ceased.

She gradually began to tell him about herself, sometimes stumbling over the words. She talked about how lonely she was as a child and about the Muggle children she met. They regarded her with distrust, but occasionally they relented and let her play with them. Swimming, climbing trees and hanging upside down were her favourites. Her mother frowned upon such activities and Leonie did her best to hide them from her. It was difficult to conceal her activities, when she arrived home muddy and wet. No amount of remonstrations or punishments stopped her forays, until the day her mother had words with her father.

Her father was often away on 'business' for long periods. When he was home, she rarely saw him, and only then for short periods. He had never liked having a young, excitable child around, and from an early age she learned to avoid him and his temper.

After her mother had spoken to her father, he took more of an interest in her education. Tutors were appointed, and spare time was cut to the minimum. The few, infrequent escapes were precious, and to be savoured.

Outwardly, as least to her parents, she appeared demure and agreeable to their demands. Inwardly, she wanted to be wild and run free. The lessons she was taught she used to her best advantage, covering up all traces of any escapade she embarked upon.

When they eventually found out, her freedom was all but curtailed. They started talking about her marriage. She was not interested. Regardless, they cast their net wide, looking for suitable partners.

This was where Leonie had problems continuing with her story.

&&&&&&&

"You do not have to tell me," Snape said. He was pushing her foot, making her strain harder against him. "When you are ready, it will come." He picked up her other foot and started pushing against her.

She gave a sudden shove and nearly sent him backwards. "I'll decide when. And I think now is about right." Leonie had been able to walk reasonably well for some days. Feeding and washing herself had become almost routine. She patted the mattress next to her and said, "Please be seated."

The seriousness in her voice made Snape sit down. She moved herself next to him, leant back on his chest and draped his arms around her. Slowly she began to tell him, stumbling over the words as they came out. "My father arranged the match. I had no choice. They beat me and locked me in my room until I agreed." Snape tightened his grip. "I was informed on my wedding night that I was just there to be used for procreation. He raped me then, and every night thereafter, when he was there. Please don't ask me for the details. When he discovered after a year that I'd been using a contraceptive charm, he nearly killed me. I started to wash myself after… afterwards. When he noticed, I was made to lie with my legs in the air with cushions underneath me." Leonie gave a crooked grin, "He can't have been very fertile. It took another year for him to impregnate me."

Snape interrupted, "That would mean you were pregnant for over fifteen months." He slightly loosened his grip.

"I was coming to that." Leonie sniffed. "The war was coming to an end. He was aware that he might lose, and he was determined that his genes would carry on. So he placed me in a kind of magical suspended catatonic state and hid me in a hole in the wall. I didn't know about that until a year later, when the Aurors found me." She shifted her position slightly. "They told me that I could have stayed there for another fifty years or even longer. I think the house collapsing on me would be the only thing to kill me. At St Mungo's, the Healers took ages to break the spell. Perhaps it would have been better if they hadn't," she finished quietly.

"Who was he?" Snape asked.

Through gritted teeth, she spat out, "You-Know-Who, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, The Dark Lord, Lord Fucking Voldemort." She was nearly shouting.

Snape was stunned. His grip had involuntary tightened again. It was some time before he realised he was hurting her. Relaxing his hold, he looked down. Cupping her chin in his hand, he forced her to look at him. "It's not your fault. Believe me."

"I know, but it's hard. All because that stupid Philosopher's Stone was destroyed along with his precious Horcruxes. He gave me the Dark Mark - it was a wedding gift." A sneer crossed her mouth. "No one will believe me. I never got the chance to tell the Aurors. One look at the Dark Mark and it was 'Off to Azkaban'. They never asked me anything."

The door swung open and three guards entered. "_Crucio_." Snape curled up in pain. His whole body was twitching uncontrollably. He looked over to Leonie and saw two of the guards advancing towards her.

"See," said one, "she's back in condition. Hello, pretty." He pulled her bra straps down and grasped a breast with his hand. Squeezing it hard, he made her cry out in pain. He pinned her hands above her head with one of his, and with the other swiftly removed her pants. The second guard dropped his trousers.

"Me first," the second one grunted. He pulled her flat, spread her legs and entered her. His thrusts were short, hard and quickly spent. Grabbing her chin he forced a sloppy, damp kiss on her and threw her head back down onto the mattress. "Thank you," he mocked. "Now you're back in circulation, we know where to come." He rolled off as the first guard took his place.

The one keeping an eye on Snape laughed as he watched him try to crawl over. A well-aimed kick left Snape incapable of moving. The guard's grin broadened, seeing the helplessness on Snape's face. At last he had got some reaction out of this prisoner. "Fancy her yourself, do ya?" He changed places with the guard who had been fucking Leonie and started himself. "Not that many women in Azkaban, we all have to share," he genially explained, still grinning. The fear and pain on Leonie's face excited him even more and he took his time, slapping her a few times to increase her fear and his pleasure. Eventually he rolled off, stood up and adjusted his trousers.

"Get her back in good form. We'll return in a few days," he barked at Snape, aiming another kick at the motionless figure. He turned and left with his fellow guards, slamming the door shut. The bolts were shot home.

They lay there, not moving for several hours. Lunch came and went. Snape finally managed to crawl over to Leonie. He held her hand. "I'm sorry," he croaked, as he eased his pain-racked body into a sitting position. From there he got on all fours and inched his way over to the basin. The effort of filling the bowl with water left him drained and he sat there with the bowl three quarters filled for at least half an hour before trying to move again.

He crawled slowly back to Leonie, pushing the basin in front of him. The water slopped over the rim and half was gone by the time he reached her. Stretching an arm out, he grabbed a rag and proceeded to wash her, ignoring her winces and moans as he touched her. His hands were gentle as he wiped her between her legs, stuffing the wet cloth inside her to mop up the blood. Three times more he crawled back to the basin to refill the bowl before he was satisfied. Lying down next to her exhausted, he blacked out.

A hand was shaking his shoulder. He opened his eyes to see Leonie's face hovering over him. He groaned and shut his eyes. The shaking became more insistent and he opened his eyes again. "What is it?" he hoarsely asked.

"Can you sit up a bit? Dinner has arrived." Leonie tried a wobbly smile, but was only half successful.

Snape pulled himself up, gritting his teeth and wincing. The effort exhausted him and he leant against the wall as he shut his eyes once more. A spoon pressed against his lips, and he opened his mouth as the stew was tipped in. He slowly chewed and swallowed. The spoon was once again pressed against his mouth. After a few more spoonfuls, he shook his head, indicating that he didn't want anymore.

He kept his eyes shut, trying to isolate the pain coursing round his body. A wet cloth was placed on the side of his head and he could feel drops of water dripping down his neck as Leonie dabbed at his head wounds. One of the kicks had split him there and the resultant gash was seeping blood. The coolness of the water was most welcome. He turned his head and felt the cloth wipe his face. "Thank you," he whispered.

"Could you manage to get over to the latrine," asked Leonie. "I can't lift you, but I'll help." She watched as he opened one eye and nodded almost imperceptibly.

He crawled over to the alcove and the two of them managed to position him on the seat. She cleaned him up afterwards. The bowl and rags were rinsed before she returned to help him back down on all fours. When they reached the mattress, Leonie placed her robe over the pair of them. She curled up against him, not caring that she was still naked, and held him close. Sleep came quickly.

&&&&&&&&&&&&

A/N: Thank you to my beta sheri164, who has been terrific in helping me to solidify my thoughts, and put them in order.


	4. Chapter 4

The prisoners have a visitor.

Disclaimer: If JKR could possibly publish more often and let the rest of us Muggles have her background notes, we wouldn't have to stoop to such levels of desperate imaginations.

**DAMAGED EXISTENCE**

CHAPTER FOUR

The next morning, Snape turned over and looked at Leonie sleeping. Her face was bruised. She was beginning to look thin and gaunt. He didn't know if she'd survive long if the events of yesterday were repeated too often. Moving her hair back to get a better look, he noticed the bruises on her breast with a sharp intake of breath. Lifting the robe up he could see the bruising around her thighs. The feeling of utter uselessness he had felt yesterday at being unable to stop them attacking her, came over him again, depressing him further.

Covering her up again, he carefully moved without disturbing her and sat by her feet. The pain of Crucio was still there, barely abated. He shivered and brought his knees up to his chin. Wrapping his arms around his legs, he shut his eyes and momentarily wallowed in the black cloud of despair that surrounded him.

Shaking off the darkness in his mind, he resolved to be stronger because Leonie needed him. They would not be subjugated, he'd see to that. Rising stiffly, he staggered over to the basin and washed his face. Brushing his teeth with a finger produced more blood. That second kick to his jaw had made his face swollen and tender to touch. He rinsed his mouth out until the water ran clear.

He turned to see Leonie sitting up watching him. Unable to smile, he half-heartedly raised a hand as a greeting. He staggered to the latrine, slamming into the wall and sliding down until he was sitting on the seat. Unable to remove his underpants, he moaned with frustration. Leaning his head against the wall, he wet himself, unable to wait any longer. The warm liquid dripped through the fabric. He shut his eyes trying to black out the sight of her watching him in this reduced state. He felt her mind reaching into his. That she was a Legilimens momentarily surprised him, but he was too weak to ask any questions.

Determined to help, Leonie redressed herself in her underwear and teetered over to the basin. She was still very sore and it hurt to walk. Grabbing the bowl and a rag, she knelt down before Snape. Managing to ease his underpants down, she discarded them on the floor and began to wash him. Seeing him hold his head erect, proud, trying to ignore what was being done, made her smile. She had felt just the same under his ministrations. The cloth that he had previously fashioned into a loincloth was fetched, and placed into position. Picking up the sopping underpants, Leonie took them to the basin, rinsed them out and laid them where they would catch the sun. She returned and washed the floor, where a puddle had been left.

"Please," he rasped, trying to get up, clawing at the wall. "Please help me." Finally, he managed to get to his feet. Putting one hand on Leonie's shoulder, with the other pressed hard against the wall, he managed to stagger back to the mattress. He fell in a heap, not having the reserves to move. Snape felt Leonie pull his legs out straight and roll him further onto the mattress.

Breakfast arrived and she placed his head on her lap, feeding him small mouthfuls, taking care not to overload the spoon. Managing to get a fair bit down him, she set his head back down and finished the rest of the meal. The bowl was returned to the hatch and she lay back down next to him. The efforts of the morning had worn her out completely, and she fell asleep the moment her head hit the mattress.

She awoke to find Snape leaning over her, smiling. "G-g-good morning," she stuttered.

He had awakened from his last night's sleep feeling much better. Turning over and seeing her asleep next to him, he couldn't resist planting a small peck on her cheek, which had made her wake up. "Good morning, and how are we on this hot day?" he quipped. Looking more serious, he continued, "Thank you. Last night and this morning… That must have been difficult for you." A surprising statement, she thought, coming from so proud a man.

"I'm still a bit sore," she said. "They were a bit rough." Seeing Snape's brow snap into a frown, she hurriedly continued, "I'm sure I'll feel better anon." Sitting up, she hugged him, to his surprise. "Thank you for caring."

His arms went round her and he held her against his chest. Closing his eyes, he savoured the moment. "I didn't know you were a Legilimens," he said.

"I haven't used it for years," she replied. "For so long, there hasn't been a mind I would dare to enter." She reached out into his mind as he reached into hers. Each began to explore the furthest recesses of the other. She pulled back at some of his memories, feeling the pain and not wishing to completely pry.

As they continued foraging further in, their exploring became tangled up with each other. Their minds wove in and out, touching here and occasionally probing deeper into parts where the pain was not so great. Neither found many happy memories of the other. Inside they caressed the outer edges of the most painful ones, soothing them, not delving too deeply. Then they gently pushed them back to become just a distant blur, where they would only be able to be dredged up if necessary.

The clank from the hatch signalled that lunch had arrived. Reluctantly, Snape untangled himself and fetched the meal. Lunch was eaten in silence. After he cleared up, he sat back down, requiring further answers. Quietly he asked her, "You never told me how you came to be in a coma. You weren't unconscious when you arrived. Aurors like to deliver their prisoners in good health."

"It was a bit like yesterday except it lasted for about two weeks. The guards… They wanted some fun… I suppose I was it. They chained me downstairs most of the time. I do remember falling down some stairs. I think I was pushed, but then nothing."

Snape clenched his teeth. He hadn't found that part in her mind. "The Ministry would not condone such treatment. They need to know."

"Who's going to tell them? You, me or someone else in this hellhole," retorted Leonie angrily. Then changing tack, "You're the one Tom wasn't sure about. I can't believe that you survived. He said you were a traitor. Were you?"

"Yes," was the terse reply. Snape hesitated, before continuing, "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be rude." He tried to explain. "I had to kill my best friend. Do you know what that does to you? When he proposed it, I knew I had no choice but to agree and once I had, it became impossible to back out."

"Tom? Tom made you do it?" Leonie reached her hand out and held his, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Yes… No, it was Albus's idea. He was dying and he hoped I could make a difference. The fool." Snape's bitterness came through his voice. "I don't think I made much difference. Lord… your husband, it reassured him. Why do you call him Tom? I understood that it was forbidden."

"I had to call him something. He didn't like it, but when I started calling him the Dark Lord or Lord Voldemort, even he could see it was inappropriate as his wife," she explained. "Someone was leaving clues everywhere the Death Eaters went. Was that you?" she asked. Seeing him nod, she continued, "Tom was furious. Members were being captured all over the place. Severus…"

The sound of doors being opened in the distance cut short the conversation.

Snape grabbed the robes and tossed Leonie hers. "Put it on. Quickly! We may have visitors." He dressed himself and stood near the back wall, by the basin. Leonie joined him and he put his hands on her shoulders as they waited.

The bolts were drawn back and in walked Percy Weasley, accompanied by a couple of guards. He stared at the prisoners for some moments before speaking. "Snape, Mrs Riddle. Good. I'm glad to find you in good health." He was actually shocked at how thin and pale they looked. The bruises on their faces would require attention - later. "I'm here to take Mrs Riddle for questioning. Her parents have informed us about her circumstances and the Ministry wishes to investigate the validity of the claims. Follow me, please." He turned and took a step towards the door.

"No!" Leonie cried out, "I'm not leaving without Severus." She turned and clutched him tightly. Snape held on to her.

"Very touching," sneered Weasley. "But I'm under orders. Just you. Come on, I haven't all day."

"I told you I'm not going without Severus. Without him I would have died months ago. Why don't you ask the guards about that? What they did and how they left me to die. Or maybe, they would like to answer questions about the rapes yesterday?" She saw the guards back away.

"Leonie, you don't have to do this. I'll be fine. You go." Snape brushed an escaped wisp of hair off her face.

"No, you don't understand. I can't. I just can't leave you here." She held him even tighter. "Please don't ask me to."

Percy paled at the word 'rape'. He had noticed the reaction of the guards and made up his mind. "Very well, come along. He can always be returned later." Percy turned on his heel and walked away, shooing the guards in front of him.

Leonie and Snape followed, still slightly staggering, holding on to each other. In moments, they arrived at an interview room and were ushered in.

The room was small. A desk was placed in the centre, surrounded by a number of chairs. Seated on the other side was a person who Snape knew - Harry Potter. He looked up from the papers he was reading as they entered. Frowning at the sight of Snape, he said, "Please be seated. Percy - you come this side." He indicated the empty chair beside him. The state of the prisoners made Harry uncomfortable. He returned to reading the papers strewn over the desk, picking a sheaf up.

When everyone was seated, he lowered the papers, cleaned his glasses on his sleeve and stared at Leonie. "I'm the Auror who has been put in charge of reviewing certain cases." He paused before continuing, "Mrs Riddle, your parents have made representations to the Ministry that you are not a Death Eater. They claim Voldemort forced you into marriage and marked you as his property. They wish for you to be released and returned to them. We are here to investigate the validity of that claim. Do you understand?"

"I understand perfectly," said Leonie, calmly staring at him. This was the man who killed her husband. She should feel grateful but… "The claim is wrong."

Harry's eyebrows shot up. The woman must be deranged. "In what way is the claim incorrect?" he enquired.

"It was not Voldemort who forced me, it was my parents. They were ambitious." She leant forward and put her hands on the edge of the desk. "I have no wish to be returned to them. I am an adult and they cannot make me."

"Returning to your parents we can deal with later." Harry selected a different sheet of paper. The Ministry wants to know how contact with Voldemort was made. He picked up a quill and started making notes. "Continue."

"I believe my father met Lucius Malfoy on one of his business trips. Malfoy was employed by Voldemort to search for a suitable breeding partner. When my father proposed using me, I think he was convinced that Voldemort would win and he was hoping to benefit from the marriage. Anything else?" Leonie was feeling slightly faint. Still not strong, the exertions of helping Snape had depleted her resources further.

"So, he was unable to impregnate you during the two years of your marriage?" Harry carried on scribbling.

"Where do you get your information from?" asked Leonie, rhetorically. "I became pregnant shortly before he died."

Harry stopped writing and looked at her. "Obviously, you are not pregnant now. Where is the child?"

"There is no child," she stated, "I lost it here. Miscarried, just over a month after my arrival. I presume you are aware of the suspended state I was in when the Aurors found me. It was no loss. I do not remember losing it. Severus had to deal with that, as I was still unable to function."

Percy handed Harry a piece of paper. He read it and looked hard at Leonie. "You were mistreated upon your arrival. What form did this mistreatment take?" he asked.

"Where do you want me to start?" Snape had put his hand over hers, and gently squeezed. She placed her other hand on top and clutched his tightly. "Being raped and buggered. Sometimes at the same time. Having the Ghendis queue up to take their turn. After a couple of weeks while I was being taken to another room, being slow, I was pushed. Unfortunately, I was on a flight of stairs at the time. I fell, banged my head and did not wake up for at least two months. Anything else you want to know?" Her lips trembled and tears welled in her eyes. She stared angrily at Harry.

He was visibly shaken. The whole interview had not gone as planned. He turned his attention to Snape. At least sending him back would be straightforward, but first there were other answers he wanted. "How long did you share a cell with Mrs Riddle?"

Snape had remained quiet during the exchange between Leonie and Harry. He was quite impressed with Harry's manner of conducting the interview, so unlike the impetuous schoolboy he had known. He wished Leonie did not have to relive her painful memories but it was necessary. "Nearly three months. She was, as she has already related to you, hardly conscious for the first two of them."

"How did she survive then? Her health is not that bad, considering." Harry was uncertain about what line of questioning he should take next.

"I fed her, cleaned her and generally cared for her. When she regained full consciousness, I exercised her," Snape stated. "She has been through enough. You have had more details about the first couple of weeks than she has told me. I tried to enter her mind when she was unconscious, but there were too many sensitive parts. It screamed if I probed too deep." He looked earnestly at Harry. "You haven't asked how her husband treated her. The rapes, the beatings, the threats of death. Or maybe you wish to discuss the fact she was raped three times yesterday." Snape threw him a look of such anger that Harry flinched. "Leave her alone," he hissed.

Harry was shocked, he scribbled some more before saying, "This interview is terminated. I will report to the Council and their decision will be related to you in due course. Meanwhile, you will be moved to different quarters." He turned and left the room hurriedly.

Percy also stood up. He gathered the papers into a tidy pile and replaced them on the desk. Always a stickler for protocol, he liked every thing just so. It rankled that Harry had been promoted well before him. The war had changed the status of numerous important people at the Ministry, and the years of cultivating the 'right' people had not stood him in good stead, but he managed to advance up the hierarchy eventually. Most of those he had befriended earlier, had either been Death Eaters, or were demoted when their incompetence became evident. With so many positions now unfilled, he did not consider being nursemaid to prisoners, a suitable occupation for a person of his standing. "Follow me," he snapped.

Snape and Leonie also rose. Snape caught her as she fainted. Picking her up in his arms, he explained, "She has never regained full strength. Food is minimal here at the best of times."

"It will be taken care of," snapped Percy. Not wishing to sound completely heartless, he moderated his tone, "Can you manage?"

"Yes," came the terse reply. Snape adjusted her in his arms and followed Percy back down the corridor and into a larger room. The room appeared almost bare. Two small beds with clean bedding were placed against adjoining walls. A table with two chairs stood in the middle.

"That door leads to a bathroom," said Percy, "I would suggest you use it." His nose wrinkled at the sight of Snape's attire. "What happened to your robe? There appear to be large chunks missing." He looked up and down at Snape. His robe barely covered his legs past his knees. The bottom edges were quite ragged.

Keeping a straight face Snape said, "You have been out of it too long. It is the latest fashion in Azkaban." Cracking a wry smile he continued, "I needed the material for cleaning rags."

Weasley's eyes opened wide. "I'll come back in two hours. Be ready." He turned and left them alone, locking the door behind him.

A/N: I must thank my beta sheri164 for the terrific job she has done with my syntax.


	5. Chapter 5

Snape and Leonie enjoy a few moments of normality, before Snape decides to act.

Disclaimer: If JKR could possibly publish more often and let the rest of us Muggles have her background notes, we wouldn't have to stoop to such levels of desperate imaginations.

**DAMAGED EXISTENCE**

CHAPTER FIVE

Left alone, Snape gently laid Leonie on one of the beds. He went into the bathroom and found a plain room furnished as expected. Moving to the bath, he turned the taps and checked the temperature – warm. He shut his eyes momentarily – bliss. When the bath was sufficiently filled he returned to the main room. Patting her cheek softly, he whispered, "Leonie, come on, wake up. Your bath is ready."

Her eyelids fluttered before opening, "Bath. Did you say bath?" she asked.

"Yes." He helped her out of her robe and underwear, lifted her into his arms and carried her through. Gently he lowered her in and reached for the sponge provided. He lowered her head until only her face was above the surface of the water. Sitting her up, he grabbed the small bar of soap, lathered his hands, and began to massage her scalp.

He then lowered her again and rinsed the soap off. The sponge was lathered and he began to wash her. She sat there, unresisting, proffering a limb as and when Snape requested it. A knock on the door interrupted him, and he rose to go back to the main room.

Percy entered, carrying a bundle of clothes. "We have managed to obtain a change of raiment for you both," he said. "There will be no further questions tonight. Dinner will be served at the usual time." Dumping the clothes in Snape's arms, he exited and again locked the door.

Snape sorted the clothing out. It was plain, serviceable and clean. Taking Leonie's clothes, he returned to the bathroom. He smiled at the sight of her lying back, with her eyes closed.

"Out you get. My turn," he said. "We have been provided with fresh clothes." That made her sit up and look at him. "Also, no more questions today." He stretched a hand out and helped her to her feet. The towels were rough and not very large. Snape carefully dried her with one before helping her into the clothes. "You go and lie down whilst I bathe," he said, leading her out.

He emptied the bath, rinsed and refilled it. Fetching his clothes, he was pleased to see Leonie asleep on one of the beds - she needed the rest. He quickly got in and sank his head below the water. Lathering it used up most of the soap. He carefully placed the remaining bit on the side, before sinking back under the water to rinse the suds off. The rest of his ablutions did not take long and he was soon out of the bath towelling himself dry.

"Mmmm," she muttered, as she was gently shaken awake, "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me." Leonie's eyes opened and she smiled at him.

Stroking her cheek Snape tenderly said, "There is no need for sorry. You have had a long day. Your strength is not fully regained. Come and eat." A surly guard had delivered the food shortly before. The tray thrust into Snape's hands was not over laden. The eating bowls were placed on either side of the table with the spoons. The main bowl was set in the centre. A smaller bowl containing a couple of apples was placed next to it. The empty cups, Snape filled with cold water from the bathroom.

Snape helped her to her feet and escorted her to the table. "I think the food is a bit better than our usual fare, but not by much."

"Smells good," said Leonie, looking at the main bowl, before sitting down. "Shall I serve?" She picked up a spoon and dished the contents out equally. The meat was actually recognisable as chicken and there were a few overcooked, indiscernible, green vegetables. "Cheers," she pronounced in a mock jovial voice, waving a cup towards Snape.

Later while munching on an apple, Leonie asked, "What do you think is going to happen tomorrow?"

"They will probably look at a few records to see if every thing is in order before releasing you," he answered. More seriously, he continued, "You must take the chance to get out of here, regardless of me. Will you promise me to do that?"

"But you're coming with me!" she exclaimed. "I mean it. I'm not going without you. If you don't get out, I stay."

This was what Snape feared. "Now that you are on the mend, do you think I want to be bothered with your silly chatter every day? Your inability to look after yourself has given me occupation. Nothing more." Seeing that he had hurt her, he carried on, "Don't look so surprised. You should be accustomed to being used, by now," he sneered, hoping she would accept his words at face value.

The chair crashed on the floor as she stood up. Her face was contorted in confusion and tears were brimming in her eyes. "You can't mean that. You've been so tender, so caring. Please tell me you don't mean it." A tear started to trickle down her cheek and she angrily brushed it away.

"Tender? Caring?" He raised an eyebrow. "Handling you in a certain way was necessary. As I said, you occupied the time. An experiment which, I believe has now finished." He sat there impassively. "Next I would have had to, of course, alleviate the boredom by moving on." Leaning forward, menacingly, he leered at her. "You are reasonably attractive, more so now your figure has regained its shape. It would have been easy to persuade you to acquiesce to further demands. The Ghendis are not the only ones who have needs and why should they have all the fun."

She was shaking, holding her hands against her ears, trying to block out what she was hearing. "Stop it. Stop it," she shouted. "I won't listen. You can't make me." She threw herself on her bed and began to cry in earnest.

"Why do women always cry, when the facts are presented to them?" growled Snape, removing himself to the bathroom.

When he finally returned to the room, he saw that Leonie had taken the opportunity of his absence to undress and get beneath the covers. Her back facing him meant he didn't have to speak to her. Satisfied, he quietly undressed and slipped beneath the sheets of his bed. The pillows were thin and lumpy, but were more than he was used to. Feeling her mind reach out to him, he slammed his shut and she soon stopped trying. He stared at the ceiling for ages before turning over and finally sleeping.

A/N: Thanks to my beta, sheri164, for the wonderful help she has given me.


	6. Chapter 6

Harry has to come to terms with certain information, while Snape explains himself.

Disclaimer: If JKR could possibly publish more often and let the rest of us Muggles have her background notes, we wouldn't have to stoop to such levels of desperate imaginations.

**DAMAGED EXISTENCE**

CHAPTER SIX

When Snape woke, Leonie's bed was empty. The sound of a tap running from the next room confirmed where she was. He lay back and sighed. That he would soon be returned to his cell was a certainty in his mind. As long as she was free, he didn't care. He wondered how much she hated him right now. It didn't matter. It was for the best.

He dressed in his underwear and waited. When Leonie came out fully dressed, she carefully avoided any eye contact with him. He stood up and went to the bathroom. Snape had a quick bath. It might be the last one he would have. The soap was finished, but he luxuriated in the hot water. Reluctantly, he got out and dried himself with the towel he had used the previous night. It wasn't quite dry, but sufficed.

Breakfast was eaten in complete silence. Leonie pushed her half-eaten bowl of porridge away. Snape reached over and finished it while she stared at him, with a frown on her face. She watched impassively as he secreted one of the cups in his robe. Leonie hadn't seen him hide the towel as well.

Shortly after breakfast was completed, they heard the door being unlocked, and Percy entered the room. They followed him back to the same small room as yesterday. There was an additional personage present - Rufus Scrimgeour. When all five were seated, Harry spoke. "The Council met last night. They wish me to convey their sincere apologies for your treatment at Azkaban. The Ghendis are being removed as we speak. Also, Mrs Riddle, they are appalled by the details of your marriage." Scrimgeour nodded, before Harry continued. "As way of recompense, the Council has authorised me to make the following offer." Referring to a piece of paper, he read, "A house with garden, a lump sum to furnish said house and an annual income (amount to be finalised by the Council). Your parents have also agreed to settle an additional amount on you. If you are in agreement we can start proceedings immediately." He pulled a box out of the desk and pushed it over to Leonie. "Your wand."

"Thank you, but what about Severus? I can not agree to anything, until I know what you have decided about him." Leonie was stunned at the offer, but was determined to do anything to stop them returning Snape to his cell. She had spent most of last night thinking, and had come to the conclusion that he was trying to protect her by being nasty. She hadn't fallen for it. "If you send him back, I'm going with him."

Snape groaned, and through gritted teeth he growled, "No, Leonie. You will not." Running a hand through his hair, he thought despairingly that if she insisted, all he had done last night was in vain.

Wearily, Harry opened a folder, ignoring Snape, and removed a tied sheaf of papers. It had been a long session last night, and locating all the documents had been time consuming. He did not agree with the Council's decision, which explained the presence of Scrimgeour. "We are in possession of a report, commissioned at St Mungo's. It appears that the injury Dumbledore sustained from the Horcrux was worse than previously believed. The journey, undertaken on the day of his death, severely weakened his condition. The opinion of the Healers at St Mungo's is that he had only days to live when he was killed. This is not an excuse for murder, but we do have some further evidence."

Snape could not help but watch Harry intensely, as he extracted further papers from the folder. Leonie reached over and held his hand tightly. He tried to feign indifference, but couldn't stop giving her hand a squeeze back.

"Amongst Professor Dumbledore's papers, one has been located that indicates Dumbledore was aware of his deteriorating condition, and that he had given the prisoner, Snape, instructions to 'alleviate' it. Also, we have obtained statements from several Death Eaters. They were all in agreement that you were considered completely untrustworthy." Harry glanced grudgingly at Snape, then turned over several pages before finding the one he wanted. "It has been reported that shortly before Dumbledore's injury, you were suspected of not being true to the Death Eaters. Afterwards, we understand you made some vow that changed people's opinion. What was that vow?"

"It was an Unbreakable Vow," Snape answered. "I made it with Narcissa Malfoy. Bellatrix Lestrange served as our bonder. I promised to protect Draco, and to carry out the orders he had been given, if he was incapable." He watched as Harry scribbled furiously. "Albus had already told me he could not survive much longer. He intended his death to accelerate the war – to bring it to its ultimate conclusion."

"And what effect did Professor Dumbledore's death have on your standing with the other Death Eaters?" Harry looked pained as he asked the question. The evidence in front of him was not what he wanted.

Snape could see the struggle Harry was having with himself, still grieving but having to carry out the instructions given to him. That he was able to do so increased Snape's respect for him. With less venom than he had ever spoken to Harry, he said, "It was quick and as painless as I could make it. You may not believe it, but he was the best friend I had ever had." Sitting up straight, he answered the question, "Dumbledore's death gave me great standing after Voldemort eventually forgave me for not killing you as well, when I had the opportunity. Then I was able to do things without him questioning me all the time. As Froggit…"

"Froggit?" queried Percy, "what do you know about Froggit?" He almost squeaked.

"That was the name I used to inform the Ministry about raids," explained Snape. "It's the reason you captured so many of the Death Eaters, so early on in the war."

Leonie piped up, "Tom was never sure about Severus. One day he was the bad guy, the next – he kills Dumbledore. When so many Death Eaters started to be captured, Tom's suspicions were again aroused."

Scrimgeour spoke for the first time, "The Council had been aware of Froggit since the start. We had our suspicions as to who he was. I think this has confirmed it. Harry?"

Through gritted teeth Harry conceded that point, "Yes, but how were you captured? I wouldn't have thought you would be anywhere near the final battle, being so clever," he sneered.

"It was necessary," sighed Snape, wishing he didn't have to explain everything. "I knew Voldemort was preparing to kill me. I managed to persuade him to give me one last chance – to prove myself. Setting up that meeting between the two of you took careful planning. He considered himself invincible. So, when he insisted that I accompany him, I agreed readily, which allayed any doubts about my loyalty that he might have had. I needed to ensure that he was there. You did the rest."

Harry finished writing and returned the quill to its stand. "The Council decreed that if in fact you were the counter-spy identified as Froggit, no further action would be taken against you. They have determined that payment will be made for your services as a spy, backdated to when Voldemort re-emerged as a force. There is also a reward…a small lump sum. Your house has not yet been disposed of. You may take possession of it again." Harry removed from a drawer in the desk another box, which contained Snape's wand. Reluctantly, Harry shoved it over the desk towards its owner. He looked angrily at Scrimgeour. "Are you going to let him off for the death of my parents?"

Scrimgeour shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Harry, we discussed this earlier. Dumbledore knew, and took no action against Snape. You have to ask yourself, why?"

"Potter," said Snape, "perhaps I can offer you an explanation. Not an excuse, I would not insult you with that. You are aware how your father and his friends treated me at school. Being constantly mocked and bullied made me hate them. When James saved my life at the Shrieking Shack, do you think I was grateful? Well I wasn't. Dumbledore would not even consider expelling the culprits. Was it any wonder I turned to Voldemort for resolution?" He could see Harry was not impressed. "Revenge does not help. When I overheard part of the prophecy, I was not aware that James and Lily were candidates."

"That's your explanation - you didn't know?" snarled Harry.

"No, can you not understand? I was obligated to your father for saving my life. Having him killed, before I could even the slate, was galling. I was left with this obligation I could not defray." Snape leant forward. "Have you never wondered why I saved your life a number of times? I could have easily killed you, when you chased me, after Dumbledore's death. The other Death Eaters were all for it, but I made that lame excuse that Voldemort wanted to kill you personally. I was made to suffer for a long time for that, the Cruciatus Curse every day, for a week. Saving your life nearly cost me mine."

Harry flinched. He did not wish to be under any obligation to Snape, but could see the validity of his argument. "I suppose that if you had died, the war wouldn't have been over so quickly, would it?"

Snape quietly said, "No. I don't believe the Ministry had sufficient Aurors to complete the task. I was there to even up the odds." By way of a further explanation, he next said, "Being stupid when you are young is meant to be part of growing up. As I never considered myself young, I laid myself open to the worst kind of stupidity – pride." Leaning back in his chair, he continued, "You have been very fortunate. Your acts of stupidity always seem to end in the correct result, regardless of an initial incorrect premise. You never had to suffer the doubts about yourself that gnawed at me. When I finally woke up to what I was doing, I had to do the best I could, to reverse and repair the harm that I had caused."

"I…" Harry stuttered, collecting himself he said, "You did not have nearly everyone that you cared for, killed."

"You are lucky, that you still have your friends. I never had any friends." He glared at Harry.

"Enough," interposed Scrimgeour. "The decision has been made and will stand. Mrs Riddle, Snape, you will remain in your room until everything has been put in order."

A/N: Thanks to my beta, sheri164, for the wonderful help she has given me.


	7. Chapter 7

Freedom at long last, but then Leonie receives some unpleasant news.

Disclaimer: If JKR could possibly publish more often and let the rest of us Muggles have her background notes, we wouldn't have to stoop to such levels of desperate imaginations.

**DAMAGED EXISTENCE**

CHAPTER SEVEN

Back in the room, which was left unlocked this time, Snape removed the cup and towel from his robe and set them down on the table. "Thank you," he said softly, "you didn't have to help after what I said last night."

"I try to repay my debts," she said stiffly. "You know I wouldn't have survived without your help." She sat on the edge of her bed, twiddling with her hair, not looking at him. "I don't know why you wanted to hurt me. I trusted you."

"Trust," he shouted. Her reliance on him had to finish now. He strode over, hauled her to her feet by her neck and thrust his tongue down her throat. When her arms came up to his shoulders, he threw her back down on the bed. "Do you want me to continue?" he snarled. "You should be more careful about whom you trust. Shall we take this further?" he asked as he grabbed her chin. He could see she was very frightened. Releasing her, he walked back to the table and sat down. "You've served your purpose." Snape turned his back on her so he didn't have to look at her expression.

"We could have been friends, and now you've ruined every thing," Leonie shouted. "I never want to see you again." She moved further onto the bed, tucked her feet under her and turned her back to him.

Ten minutes later, Percy came in and found their positions unchanged. "We are ready to go now." Seeing something was not right, he looked suspiciously at Snape. "I've been ordered to send you both to St Mungo's, so they can give you the once over." It was apparent the two had quarrelled. He was pleased, as he did not consider Snape a suitable person for Mrs Riddle to befriend.

They both followed him, Snape walking a few steps behind Leonie. Her posture made it quite clear that she was not going to speak to him. He was satisfied that his most recent behaviour had finally produced the desired effect.

The portkey was situated in a small room next to the one where they were interviewed. "There will be someone on the other side to meet each of you. Mrs Riddle, you go first." Percy was quick to ensure they were separated as soon as possible.

Leonie stepped forward and soon found herself in a large waiting room at St Mungo's.

Healer Perenice stepped forward. "Mrs Riddle," she said, "please come this way." The healer thought her patient's appearance was too pale and her features were very pinched. She led her charge to a small examining room, sat her down and took a full history. If Healer Perenice was shocked at all, no hint of it appeared on her face.

"Right, you lie on that couch and I'll examine you. You can put your clothes on that chair," she barked, indicating which chair she meant. Taking her wand out, she frowned. It was the expressionless face that Leonie presented and the unfeeling way she told her story that gave cause for concern. They could heal bodies here, but mind problems were a different matter.

Finishing her examination, she pronounced, "You're not in too bad a condition. There has been no lasting damage from the miscarriage. Having children in the future should not present a problem. You'll need a contraceptive charm for the recent rapes and I'll give you something to heal the soreness inside. I'll just take care of the bruises first." A lotion was smeared on Leonie's face, breasts and thighs, while the healer waved a wand over her. Satisfied with the results, she turned to a cupboard and removed a small bottle.

Nattering small talk, Healer Perenice poured out a measure into a glass and handed it to Leonie. Only receiving monosyllabic replies, she paid a bit more attention to her patient. "Now you can get dressed again. You need a bit of rest and feeding up and you'll be as right as rain in no time. Is there someone special waiting for you?"

"No."

The forcefulness with which Leonie spoke surprised the healer. The look of utter misery on her face made Healer Perenice think. If she was not mistaken, this young woman was lovesick. Unfortunately, there was no cure for that. As there had been no presentable young men in her recent history, Healer Perenice was puzzled. Shaking her head, she said, "I'm to take you to the main office and give my report. I understand they'll take it from there."

Leonie sat in another waiting area, while the healer went in. She felt uncomfortable. Hearing that a Death Eater was to be released naturally made people curious, and as she was the only person to be seated outside an Auror's office, they stared when passing by.

Handing her notes over to Harry, Healer Perenice unofficially told him her conclusion. Harry paled. If Healer Perenice's evaluation was correct, then it could only be Snape she was in love with. He wondered what game that man was playing. The report from Percy about their manner of parting indicated that the liaison was finished. He hoped it was.

He called Leonie in once Healer Perenice had left. "You have been sent a letter from your parents by owl. I have to leave momentarily, you may read it here in privacy." Shutting the door behind him, he went to find Tonks.

Leonie perused the contents of the letter and then reread it. Dropping it onto the floor, she picked up a glass from the desk and threw it against the wall. It smashed with a loud crash just as Harry and Tonks entered.

"What the…?" shouted Harry. "_Reparo_." He returned the glass to his desk, mended. "That, young lady, is not the behaviour I expect in my office."

"Read it," she hissed, picking up the letter and thrusting it into his hands, "Go on. Read it aloud, just to make sure I actually understood what it said." She stood there shaking with rage.

Tonks could see people looking in, and hurriedly shut the door.

Harry frowned as he started to read the letter,_"Our Dear Daughter, We are pleased to hear that you are back from that place. Your Mother and I were very grieved to hear that you do not wish to return home. Nevertheless, we have been busy on your account and have arranged a very advantageous marriage for you. The wizard in question is not much older than me, but he has standing and wealth and, furthermore, he is happy to overlook your previous marriage." _Harry looked up at Leonie, and she raised an eyebrow indicating he should continue_."A date has been set for next week and we expect you to return to us before then. Preparations are well advanced and we do not want you disappointing us again. Yours etc, Mr & Mrs Winshank." _

"Well," said Tonks, "I can quite understand the glass throwing. Feel free to smash it again. I'm sure Harry won't mind. I'm Mrs Lupin, but please call me Tonks. Everyone else does."

"I won't do it. I won't do it." Leonie was nearly shouting again. "Tell them they have no daughter, no stupid little pawn for their ambitious schemes. I want them out of my life."

Harry and Tonks looked at each other.

"Of course we will," said Tonks, leading her back to the seat and setting her down. "Won't we Harry."

"Yes," replied Harry. He was disgusted with the contents. Maybe his childhood hadn't been that bad, considering. "Parents like that are a disgrace. I'll ensure that they are under orders not to contact you again." Harry smiled at her and said, "Tonks is here to take you to your new house. She'll see you get settled in, and will generally help you re-integrate back into society."

Tonks, observing the direction of her gaze, explained, "I'm expecting in about four months. The reason I'm so huge is because I'm having twins. The Ministry has put me on light duty and you're it. Come on, let's go. The house is on the Floo network. I just love decorating, don't you?"

&&&&

Snape was only a couple of minutes behind Leonie. Percy informed him that he would be staying behind to sort out their release paperwork. After trying to find out what Snape and Mrs Riddle had argued about and getting no response, Percy shrugged and let him leave via the portkey.

Healer Varinia met Snape and took him to a different examining room. After checking him over and healing his cuts and bruises, she pronounced him in excellent health. Clucking over him like a mother hen, she did admonish him to eat more, as he was much too thin.

"I'll be back in a minute. Just have to find out if they're ready to see you." She left him alone in the room.

Snape looked around. The clinical brightness of the room hurt his eyes. He wondered briefly what condition his house was in. It didn't really matter. Not much did. He felt depressed. He knew he should be ecstatic about his release, but somehow he didn't really care.

After a wait of some considerable time, he was led to the same office Leonie had recently vacated.

Harry was less inclined to spare any time talking to Snape. He passed his house keys over and told him, "It would be best if you were to keep a low profile for some time." Then, curiosity got the better of him and he asked, "What did you say to offend Mrs Riddle? She never asked where you lived or how to contact you."

Snape grimaced. Having Harry, after Percy, ask him did not improve his humour, but he replied, "It is better this way. She can start living her life again without me as baggage." He stepped towards the fireplace, before saying so quietly that Harry nearly missed it, "She must never know how difficult it was to be so rough towards her." Throwing the powder, he vacated Harry's office.

Staring at the empty fireplace, Harry frowned. Had he misjudged Snape again? He knew he was blinkered in matters concerning him. His job required him to be fair, and he did his best. With a deep sigh, he glanced at their records once more and marked them 'closed'. That Mrs Riddle and Snape were going to be living only a few streets apart did not cause him much concern. London was very large and meeting neighbours was always a struggle.

&&&&

A/N: Many thanks to my beta, sheri164, for all the great help, she has given me.


	8. Chapter 8

A new life, but it is not clear if it is a happy one yet.

Disclaimer: If JKR could possibly publish more often and let the rest of us Muggles have her background notes, we wouldn't have to stoop to such levels of desperate imaginations.

**DAMAGED EXISTENCE**

CHAPTER EIGHT

It was a large house. Leonie was amazed that the Ministry had given it to her. It really was too big. Of the five bedrooms, she and Tonks had only managed to furnish one of them. Downstairs, she kept mainly to the large kitchen, eating her meals at the table in the middle of the room. She had furnished the smallest room as her sitting room. It was cosy, with two comfortable chairs and a sofa. A couple of small tables were placed next to a chair and the sofa. The shelves, although still sparse, were being filled with small knick-knacks whenever Leonie found something she liked. The curtains were floral and lent the room a warm feel.

The memory of her last bath, and having 'him' wash her was still fresh in her mind. Ignoring the bath, she only took showers. Her main joy was the garden and she spent hours each day tending the various plants and planting new ones.

Her visits to Diagon Alley were brief. She was afraid of running into Severus. Leonie made her purchases quickly, before returning to the safety of home. If she could have Apparated in and out of the shops, she would have, but she had never learnt and did not hold a licence.

Tonks became a regular visitor. Her appearances were always welcome, but she was disappointed that Leonie did not allow her to decorate her house in a more bohemian manner. Occasionally, Percy accompanied Tonks.

Leonie did not feel comfortable around Percy. He was always staring at her when he thought she wasn't looking. Most of the time, he asked her questions about Voldemort, explaining that the Ministry wanted a full record of all his actions. Harry had shared the Healer's unofficial opinion with Percy, so he watched Leonie closely, trying to gauge her feelings. Since she did not confide in him and treated him with indifference, he gleaned nothing further from her. He did wonder why she never asked about Snape, but was satisfied that she had broken all links with him.

Ginny, Tonks' friend and Percy's sister, was introduced to Leonie. Ginny and Leonie hit it off from the start. Leonie was very interested to hear that she was going to marry Harry. "He seems to be a very serious young man," she commented.

"Mmmm, yes," said Ginny, eating a biscuit Leonie had baked that morning. "He has had a lot on his plate the last couple of years. Being fast tracked as an Auror required a lot of work. The paperwork after the war has been mountainous. He's nearly completed all of his reports, so we can get married in the next few months. Hopefully, life won't be as hectic then."

As the months wore on, Tonks became a less frequent visitor. Her pregnancy tired her out. She had stopped trying to get Leonie to widen her circle of acquaintances, understanding that she was still very wary of new people, especially men. Tonks thought it was a shame.

&&&&&&

Working in the garden all morning had made Leonie hot. Cooling down after a quick shower, and throwing on a wrap, she came back downstairs to continue her work. The garden had yielded a bumper harvest of herbs, and she became busy sorting them into separate piles ready for drying.

The sound of a flash from the fireplace in her sitting room alerted her to a visitor. She had never bothered putting a lock charm on it since her visitors were usually predictable and infrequent. Reluctantly, she went to see who had arrived. It surprised her to see Percy emerging alone from the grate; he had never visited by himself before.

His stern face made her think that there must be something wrong. "Is it Tonks? Is she all right?" she asked.

Percy reddened. No, as far as he was aware, Tonks was fine. Politely, she asked if he would like a cup of tea. The sooner she found out his reason for visiting, the sooner he would go. Following her to the kitchen, Percy watched her fill the kettle and switch it on. While she opened a cupboard door to get the box of tea, he stepped forward. A chair was knocked over as he grabbed her by the shoulders. "I've waited too long for this moment. You are beautiful." Before she knew what was happening, he planted a long hard kiss on her lips.

Stunned, she pushed him away. Leonie had never seen him as excitable as he was now. "No," she said firmly, "I don't want this." She had never noticed the coldness in his eyes before. Their iciness made her shiver and she pulled her wrap tighter.

He pursed his lips as he drew her ever closer. "You should be grateful for my attentions. A woman like you, with your past, would do well with the protection of a man of my position and influence." He grabbed the arm she held in front of herself to ward him off. "I'm willing to overlook the fact you are damaged goods - Snape's leftovers – as it were." He spat this out as his other arm went around her waist. "You were fucking Snape, you slut, and now you try to act as if you're too good for me!" He attempted another kiss.

She moved her face backwards and to the side, causing his kiss to miss. He brought a hand up and slapped her hard. "You don't have to fight me. You should enjoy this. I'm younger, better than he is. You're a good-looking witch, you know." He clasped her struggling body firmly against him and grasping her chin, he forced his tongue down her throat.

She kicked him, making him break contact. "I don't want you," Leonie bleated, pleading with him, "please, stop this and go away." She strained in his arms, trying to free herself. Her wand was in the bathroom and, without it, she was helpless against his strength.

"Do you still want him?" he snarled, ignoring the tears forming in her eyes. He opened her wrap and filled his eyes with the sight of her semi-clad body. "You shouldn't waste all this on someone so old and ugly. I have wanted you since we first met. Snape is nothing anymore. I can make you forget about him. You will learn to love me," he was ranting wildly.

Leonie begged, "No. Please, no. Please…" '_Severus, help me. I'm not strong enough,' _she called, her mind reaching out for his, past the door and outwards. Percy dragged her by one arm and pulled her upstairs. Flinging her bedroom door open, he pushed her onto the bed. "Please, you mustn't do this." She could feel his hands all over her. _Severus, _she screamed, pushing her mind out as far as she could. Mustering what strength she had, she tried to push him off her, but he only held her harder.

"I have thought of nothing but you since we met." He licked her cheek, with a long, slow motion. "I don't care why he doesn't want you any more. His leavings are my chance." As he moved down he removed her underwear, throwing them on the floor.

'_Severus_,' she screamed inside her head again.

Snape heard her. He was sitting, reading a book, when he heard her cries. She needed him. Grabbing his wand, he rushed out and started to follow the screams in his head. Very soon, he found himself outside a large white house. He crashed through the door, his wand out and ready. He looked up, and ran up the stairs, taking them two at a time, the screams still tearing inside his head. He heard a puff downstairs, indicating another arrival. Snape did not stop. '_I'm coming,'_ his mind called out to hers.

He burst through the door, to see Percy without his robe, his trousers around his knees, holding his erect penis ready to insert, his fingers already leading the way, pushing inside her. Snape pulled him upright by his hair and punched him, sending him reeling backwards. "_Petrificus Totalus_," he incanted.

Harry was next to arrive on the scene. He had come in search of Percy, since he was required urgently at the Ministry. Percy had failed to tell anyone where he was going. Harry had used a location charm to find him, and was surprised at where it led. Hearing the commotion above him, he moved swiftly upstairs.

The scene that met him was awful. Percy was on the floor and Snape was leaning over Leonie. Harry was just about to hex Snape, when he saw the state of undress that Percy was in. Lowering his wand, he watched Snape gather Leonie into his arms, sit her on his lap and use his wand to reduce the bruise emerging on her face. The gentleness with which Snape ministered to her astounded Harry. He had never equated Snape with gentleness. Looking down at Percy, half dressed and frozen, he kicked him. "You bastard, you knew what she's been through and you did this…" Words failed him.

Approvingly, Snape looked over as he hissed, "Get that miserable cur out of here, before I do something I may regret." Cupping Leonie's face, he asked, "Darling, are you alright? Did that scum hurt you?"

"N…no… not much," she stuttered. "I'm just glad you heard me in time. He didn't …" she trailed off, clutching Snape's robes and burying her face in them.

"_Mobilicorpus."_ Harry moved Percy through the opening, and leaving him mid-air, he shut the door. Turning back to the couple, he was uncertain as to where to begin. "I sometimes think he must have been a changeling. None of the rest of his family is like him character-wise."

Ignoring Harry, Snape muttered to Leonie, "If he had succeeded, he wouldn't be alive, never mind the consequences." He was still boiling at the thought of what could have happened.

Flicking his wand to start a bath, he carried her through. He didn't bother to see Harry go downstairs, pushing Percy in front of him. When the bath was ready, he lowered Leonie in and began to wash her as he had done before.

&&&&&&&&&

After making Percy get dressed, Harry took him back to the Ministry. He felt awful. Percy was Ginny's brother, and he didn't know how he was going to explain this to Ginny and her family. He wrote his report quickly, ignoring the protestations of Percy, that he never meant her any harm and that he loved her. Leaving Percy locked in his office, he found Suetonius, the on-duty supervising Auror, and handed in his report and recommendations.

Suetonius raised his eyebrows. "He didn't actually rape her, did he?" On seeing Harry shake his head, he intoned, "That's fortunate. I'll take it from here." He turned and left with the report to carry out Harry's recommendations.

Harry quickly returned to Leonie's house. Snape was seated on a chair in the sitting room and frowned at the sight of him. "How is she?" Harry asked.

"She's asleep. I said I'd be here when she wakes," replied Snape. "What have you done with that animal?" he growled.

Harry shivered. Explaining things to Snape was never easy. He had that knack of looking right through you. "He will be sent to China, with strict orders that any further violation will result in his being sent to Azkaban. I don't know how I'll explain this to the rest of the family." He looked miserable at the prospect. "I'm not sure Ginny will have me now. We're engaged and the wedding is meant to be next month." Astonished he was actually talking to Snape as a person, Harry shut up.

"If she loves you, she'll forgive you," Snape snorted.

"Merlin's beard. What do you know about love?" exclaimed Harry. Then the penny dropped. "Why did you try to make her hate you?" he asked, his curiosity getting the better of him.

"Because I'm too old, and to look at I'm not the finest example of wizardhood. My reputation is not exactly pleasant. I'm damaged goods, and I hoped she would be able to live a better life without me," he replied. "You wouldn't say I'm a 'good catch', would you?" Seeing Harry's inability to answer, he continued, "No, I didn't think so. Nor will other people. I believed she only cared for me because there was no one else."

"But she's damaged as well. Maybe the two of you together could make a complete person." Harry couldn't believe what he was saying, actually encouraging Snape. "How did you get here so quickly? We didn't tell you where she lived."

"I didn't. She's a Legilimens. In Azkaban there was one time we explored each other's minds. I had never done that before. Not when someone else is doing it at the same time. It requires great openness and trust. I had read about it, that it can be complicated to untangle the connection." He looked at Harry and said, "She called for me. Actually screamed. And, I heard."

A sound above made both of them stand up. Harry said, "I'll leave you now and come back tomorrow." He was already talking to an empty room.

When Snape arrived in the bedroom, Leonie was trying to get out of bed. He rushed over to her saying, "Leonie, you need to rest." As he tried to pull the sheet up, she pulled him down.

"Severus, please don't be angry with me." She felt his body tense as her arms went around him. "Please, hold me. I need you..." her voice trailed off.

He unwrapped her arms and placed her hands under the sheets. Putting his hands on either side of her face, he stared into her eyes. "Leonie," he whispered, "you don't know what you are asking of me." Snape groaned as she turned her head and kissed the palm of one of his hands. He grabbed her shoulders tight, and shook her hard. "Listen, to me! You are young and you are beautiful. There are many men out there who will not mistreat you and would be glad to call you their own. I have no prospects and there is no future for you with me."

"I don't care what you say, I love you and I know you love me too," said Leonie, extracting her arms and pulling his head to her chest. "Will you stop being so bloody, damned noble all the time?" She kissed the top of his head and continued, "I'm not worried about the future, I want you now."

"Are you sure?" Snape asked, uncertain, but when her eyes looked adoringly at him, he was powerless to move away. With renewed hope, he felt the stirrings of passion. Her body beneath him, enflamed him more. Taking her into his arms, he whispered, "Tell me at anytime if you want me to stop. I will." He started caressing her side, and raised his head to kiss her gently on her lips, bringing himself up level with her. "I don't want to hurt you and being 'bloody, damned noble' has its uses. I'll go slow." He started to kiss her just below her ear and was softly rubbing her lower lip with his thumb. He worked his way down her neck using small soft pecks. His hands moved to pull her nightdress over her head. He tossed it on the floor, before his mouth inched its way along a shoulder.

Leonie shivered as he placed a hand on one breast and started to caress the mound. With one finger he started to trace small circles around her nipple, then barely feathering it, he gently squeezed. His lips reached the other and he heard her gasp as he took it into his mouth and began to suck.

He shook his robe off as Leonie unbuttoned his shirt. Hungrily, he kissed her as he removed his boots and trousers. Snape moved the sheet back and lay down next to her. Gathering her back into his arms, he held her for a moment, thinking it was so long since he had held a woman, but this was special. He had never imagined he would ever find love and that Leonie loved him in return, made him feel humble. After all the pain she had been through, he thought as he nibbled an earlobe while his hands returned to her breasts, he had to be careful.

Feeling the rigidity of him against her hip, she reached down her hand.

Snape grasped her wrist. "No," he said, "Please... Trust me. Let me show you how I feel." He smiled at her as he brought her hand up, kissed each finger and sucked each tip in turn. He left her hand in his hair, while his fingers travelled back down her side to her stomach. His mind entered hers and felt for the parts that told him where she needed to be touched. With his teeth he was nibbling her lower lip as his hand reached her curling pubic hair. Leonie groaned as he started to knead her mound. She grabbed his head and started kissing him. Snape was surprised at the passion with which she kissed him and returned that passion in equal measure. His fingers gently opened her up and began exploring inside. As he ventured further, he dipped a finger into her wetness and brought it up her. Each time he did this, her wetness increased, raising her excitement.

Writhing next to him, she strained to get closer, arching her back as he increased the speed and pressure.

When he knew she was ready, he nudged the tip of him into her. He felt her thrust her hips up to meet him as he entered her. Taking his time, Snape started easing himself in and out, rubbing his shaft against her. She began to moan and he felt the muscles inside her contracting in spasms as she came. Rasping gasps emitted from her mouth as she clutched his buttocks, pushing him in as far as he could go. When he finally felt her body relax, he came with a few hard thrusts.

They lay there, with him on top, still inside her, never wanting to leave the warm embrace of her body. Eventually, Snape reluctantly rolled off and gathered her back into his arms. Leonie was crying. He cupped her chin and his eyes searched her face. "Did I hurt you?" A shake of her head reassured him. "What then? Why the tears?"

"I never knew it…" she gulped, "I never knew sex could be like that." She kissed him. "Thank you."

"Leonie, that was making love," he said softly, kissing her back, "not just sex." Looking deep into her eyes, he said simply, "I love you." Occasionally kissing and stroking each other, they lay curled up on the bed, and fell asleep.

&&&&&&&&&&

Leonie woke up in the night to find a body next to hers. Momentarily, she panicked before remembering the previous evening. Kissing his shoulder, she felt him stir.

Waking, Snape felt her mind probing his and he turned to her.

"Do you mind? It helped you the first time and I would like to do the same." His answer to her came in a kiss, his tongue exploring her mouth.

Her hands were all over him. His body was on fire and he wasn't sure how long he could contain himself. Feeling her press against him, arching her back, he brought his hand down to feel her moistness – she was ready. His desire for her increased, almost overwhelming him, and he entered her swiftly.

She moaned and grunted, "Harder, harder." As his thrusts became deeper, Leonie released herself into a frenzied climax. When it had abated, she used her inner muscles to continue massaging him.

Snape had never experienced anything like it. Unable to hold on any longer, he came in long hard thrusts, gasping at the end. Even when finished, he carried on, not wanting the sensations to end. "Leonie," he sighed, "I cannot believe what you have done to me."

"Severus, you must know you are the best thing ever to happen to me," said Leonie, as she trailed one finger down his arm. Gently, she kissed his chest with fleeting pecks, before she found his hands holding her face. She shut her eyes as he kissed her lids, down her cheek, each side of her mouth, before moving on to nibble an ear.

Feeling himself getting aroused again, he started to suckle one erect nipple. There was no urgency this time, so he languidly stroked her side along her full length. Entering each other's minds, they spent a long time exploring each other's body. Every inch of their bodies was touched, caressed and lingered over. Every reaction was felt and every erogenous place played upon. Their passion rose higher and they began in earnest. Every sensitive spot was inflamed, driving each of them to even higher levels. Snape entered her from behind, keeping her throbbing with pleasure with his fingers. Reaching their climaxes together brought squeals from Leonie and strangled screams from Snape. Exhausted, spent and bathed in sweat, they lay curled up, before eventually falling back asleep.

&&&&&&&&&&

**EPILOGUE**

Nearly everyone in the Wizarding community had read Harry's book about the war. The part that Snape played in Voldemort's defeat featured heavily in some of its chapters. Both the _Daily Prophet_ and the _Quibbler_ had reviewed the book extensively. The sensational excerpts they had printed mainly featured Snape's exploits. It did not bother Harry. He was tired of always being the centre of everyone's attention.

While Percy's actions were not widely known, the shame his family felt over his disgrace was difficult for them to bear. Initially, Ginny had been very angry with Harry, but she and her family soon came to the conclusion that he was not responsible for her brother's behaviour and subsequent exile. When Tonks insisted that Ginny visit Leonie, it helped Ginny to clarify her feelings. Leonie had not exactly forgiven Ginny's brother, but did not want him to suffer any further retribution, as she considered his banishment punishment enough. The Potter-Weasley wedding date was rescheduled a month later than originally planned.

Tonks had given birth to twins. Twin boys. Since Remus was still having trouble finding permanent employment, Tonks went back to work, leaving the twins in his very capable hands. The Lupins had been getting Remus's Wolfbane potion from Snape for some time, as it was more effective than potions from other suppliers.

Snape and Leonie married shortly after Harry and Ginny. The couple were surprised at the number of good wishes that came their way, most especially Snape. More people attended their wedding than could fit into the room.

During the reception that followed, Snape reached out to his new bride with his mind, '_All right? Happy?'_ he asked.

'_Perfect darling,' _came back the reply.

Tonks noted that they were communicating and observed, "You're a Legilimens as well. You each know exactly how each other are feeling. Is that right?" Watching Leonie nod, she added, "Gosh, the sex must be great."

She clasped a hand over her mouth. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that. It's just that I have heard when two Legilimens…" her voice trailed off.

Leonie was laughing, "Oh dear, do tell your friends I'm marrying him just for the sex. It's quite a bit more than that, but it will do." Carefully dabbing her eyes with a tissue, she tried to compose herself.

&&&&&&&&

Severus Snape became known as the person to see if you needed a particularly difficult potion brewed. He ran the potion business from his old house at Spinner's End, for in short time, the other house was filled with children, and neither he nor Leonie wanted them to get hold of anything dangerous. Eventually, he opened a store in Diagon Alley and hired someone to front it, while he remained in the back brewing his potions, only coming to the counter when a complicated request was made. The Ministry of Magic put bulk orders through occasionally and the additional money enabled him and his family to live very comfortably. He sold his house at Spinner's End and realised a tidy sum as the area had become surprisingly trendy.

Leonie gave birth four times in as many years - two boys and two girls. She found Severus a patient and loving father. He always had time for his children and enjoyed bathing them and putting them to bed. Welcoming him home from work each day, Leonie continued to marvel at the love she felt for him. It never diminished.

The two 'damaged' people had indeed become whole.

&&&&&&&&

A/N: Full credit must go to my beta reader, sheri164. Her patience and innate understanding of what I needed has been immense. I cannot thank her enough.


End file.
